An Excerpt from Generation Me
GenMe's focus on the needs of the individual is not necessarily self-absorbed or isolationist: instead, it's a way of moving through the world beholden to few social rules and with the unshakable belief that you're important. It's also not the same as being "spoiled," which implies that we always get what we want; though this probably does describe some kids, it's not the essence of the trend (as I argue in Chapter 4, GenMe's expectations are so great and our reality so challenging that we will probably get less of what we want than any previous generation). We simply take it for granted that we should all feel good about ourselves, we are all special, and we all deserve to follow our dreams. GenMe is straightforward and unapologetic about our self-focus. In 2004's Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis, Jason, 25, relates how he went through some tough times and decided he needed to change things in his life. His new motto was "Do what's best for Jason. I had to make me happy; I had to do what was best for myself in every situation."
Our practical orientation toward the self sometimes leaves us with a distaste for Boomer abstraction. When a character in the 2004 novel Something Borrowed watched the 1980s show "thirtysomething" as a teen, she wished the Boomer characters would "Stop pondering the meaning of life and start making grocery lists." The matter-of-fact attitude of GenMe appears in everyday language as well – a language that still includes the abstract concept of self, but uses it in a very simple way, perhaps because we learned the language as children. We speak the language of the self as our native tongue. So much of the "common sense" advice that's given these days includes some variation on "self:"
- Worried about how to act in a social situation? "Just be yourself."
- What's the good thing about your alcoholism/drug addiction/murder conviction? "I learned a lot about myself."
- Concerned about your performance? "Believe in yourself." (Often followed by "and anything is possible.")
- Should you buy the new pair of shoes or get the nose ring? "Yes, express yourself."
- Why should you leave the unfulfilling relationship/quit the boring job/tell off your mother-in-law? "You have to respect yourself."
- Trying to get rid of a bad habit? "Be honest with yourself."
- Confused about the best time to date or get married? "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else."
- Should you express your opinion? "Yes, stand up for yourself."
Americans use these phrases so often that we don't even notice them anymore. Dr. Phil, the ultimate in plain-spoken, no-nonsense advice, uttered both "respect yourself" and "stop lying to yourself" within seconds of each other on a "Today" show segment on New Year's Resolutions. One of his bestselling books is entitled Self Matters. We take these phrases and ideas so much for granted, it's as if we learned them in our sleep as children, like the perfectly conditioned citizens in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World.
These aphorisms don't seem absurd to us even when, sometimes, they are. We talk about self-improvement, as if the self could be given better drywall or a new coat of paint. We read self-help books, as if the self could receive tax-deductible donations. The Self even has its own magazine. Psychologist Martin Seligman says that the traditional self – responsible, hardworking, stern – has been replaced with the "California self," "a self that chooses, feels pleasure and pain, dictates action and even has things like esteem, efficacy, and confidence." Media outlets promote the self relentlessly; I was amazed at how often I heard the word "self" used in the popular media once I started looking for it. A careful study of news stories published or aired between 1980 and 1999 found a large increase in self-reference words (I, me, mine, and myself) and a marked decrease in collective words (humanity, country, or crowd).
Young people have learned these self-lessons very well. In a letter to her fans in 2004, Britney Spears, 23, listed her priorities as "Myself, my husband, Kevin, and starting a family." If you had to read that twice to get my point, it’s because we take it for granted that we should put ourselves first on our list of priorities – it would be blasphemy if you didn’t (unless, of course, you have low self-esteem). Twenty-year-old Maria says her mother often reminds her to consider what other people will think. "It doesn’t matter what other people think," Maria insists. “What really matters is how I perceive myself. The real person I need to please is myself."
Smart marketers have figured this out, too. In the late 1990s, Prudential replaced its longtime insurance slogan "Get a Piece of the Rock" with the nakedly individualistic "Be Your Own Rock." The United States Army, perhaps the last organization one might expect to focus on the individual instead of the group, has followed suit. Their standard slogan, adopted in 2001, is "An Army of One."
Longer excerpt printed in The Chicago Sun-Times
http://calbears.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4155/is_20060423/ai_n16214284
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